Love You, Mom!

Now Playing in Limited Release

We'll talk about Rebecca De Mornay's on screen parenting history and Darren Lynn Bousman's re-imagining  of Charles Kaufman's 1980 'classic' (and I use the term loosely here) in a moment. I promise. It's not like I've seen it or anything, so cool your jets, okay?

"Cool your jets" was something my mother used to say to my sister and I when we got too excited or worked up about something. I don't know how well it worked, but she said it. A lot.  These days, Mom says plenty of amusing things - her malapropisms, Spoonerisms and downright mispronunciations are often quite hilarious (luckily to both of us).  Mom wanted nothing more than to be a mother. She still gets all weepy and adoring at the sight of a cute baby (young "Raising Hope" stars Baylee and Rylee Cregut are among her -- and I must admit, my -- current favs). 

Mom's also a very girly-girl mom. You all know what I mean. She loves girly things: butterflies; wind chimes; bird-feeders; flowers; kittens; diamonds... Not that boys can't or shouldn't love those things... (What the hell did I just start there? I didn't mean to start anything. -- Shut up, Bri! You're just making it worse! Oh, crap!)

Anyway - After a delicious brunch of homemade, stuffed challa bread French toast this mid-morning, Mom opened her gifts from me. She got a stained-glass butterfly chime; a 3D butterfly bookmark and... because she had asked for it for Christmas but didn't get it, two paint-by-number kits: a cat curled up on a bookshelf and finches among hyacinths. She's worried they'll be too complicated for her, bu if she takes her time, I'm sure they'll be beautiful. And of course, even if they're not, I'll tell her they are.

My mother tells me that there isn't a day that goes by that she doesn't miss her own mother, who passed away in 1983. I know that one day I'll know what that feels like but until then, I'll just be glad she's here to tell her how much I love and appreciate her and give her presents. I know lots of folks who aren't close to their moms, and that makes me sad. If your mom is still with you, count your blessings and tell her you love her. You won't be able to one day.

And now once again I find myself segueing from at least sort of sad to silly. So here goes:

Rebecca De Mornay first caught audiences' attention as the train-loving prostitute Lana opposite Tom Cruise in his star-making role in the 1983 teen sex comedy Risky Business.She did several things after that, but it wasn't until 1992's The Hand that Rocks the Cradle, in which she played an evil, scheming nanny, that we really got to see her chew some scenery. She played Wendy in the TV version of The Shining and did plenty of TV shows. And now she's back on the big screen in a movie that was origanlly scheduled for release in 2010, Mother's Day. In the 1980 original, two-backwoods loons (Fredrick Coffin and Michael McCleery) brought sluts home for their elderly mother (Beatrice Pons) to mete out punishment. In the new version, De Mornay plays Mother Koffin (sound familiar?), who returns to the home she once owned with her boys in tow, ready to wreak havoc on slutty teens, once again. Reviews for the film have been spotty, at best, though most critics are quite complimentary to De Mornay and can't help but compare Mother Koffin to Peyton Flanders from ...Cradle. I like that De Morney, while never a huge star, sill manages to fly under the radar while garnering excellent reviews for her performances. As a character actor myself, I get it. It's great to play all these wonderfully diverse and ofetn eccentric roles, but it's even better when you can steal the whole thing for yourself.

Mother's Day is currently playing in limited release. As soon as this boy in the sticks gets the chance to see it, I'll be reviewing it.

And yes, that is Iceman, cutie Shawn Ashmore as one of Mama's boys.

Here's the trailer for Kaufman's original:



More, anon.
Prospero

Well, Duh!

Gay TV

NPR has a story (via) about how TV brought (and continues to bring) gay people into America's living rooms and is helping to change middle-Americans' attitudes and ideas about us. While I can't argue with that (even our Vice President acknowledged it last week), I hope that TV isn't the only thing changing minds in Peoria.

Okay, good. So TV has helped. But let's take a lot at how long it took for TV to get there, shall we?  1977 saw television's first openly gay character, Jody Dallas (played by future Oscar host Billy Crystal) on the ABC parody "Soap." Yes, for the most part, Jody was played for laughs. The joke was on us when it was revealed that Jody and his mother were both having sex with tennis instructor Peter (the late Robert Urich).

I don't remember another gay character on TV until the 80's with "Thirtysomething" (a show I despised) and in the 90's with "Melrose Place," a show I never saw. And of course, Ellen came out in life and on her show and suddenly there was this screeching halt and we were hardly anywhere, except on Russell Davies' BBC series "Queer as Folk." And then came "Will & Grace," I suppose. Almost real gay men on TV at last! And it played in Peoria! Of course, no one cared if Showtime's soft-core American version of "Queer as Folk"played in Peoria. It was purely a coastal phenom, though I took much delight in introducing K to it's many joys while visiting sis in Florida one year. She spent the majority of the hour with her mouth hanging open, poor thing.

Now, of course there's "Glee" (as silly as it may be at times) and "Modern Family" (as outrageous as it may be at times), finally featuring (more-or-less) realistic gay characters in everyday settings. The ratings on both of these shows are pretty terrific. Collectively, they've won Golden Globes, Emmys and GLAAD Media Awards. If the folks in Peoria (i.e Middle America) hated these shows, they wouldn't be the hits they are. Well, it finally seems like people are getting it. LGBTQ people are your friends, your co-workers and your family members.

And what became of Ellen? She is Oprah's gay heir apparent, apparently. The multiple Emmy Award-winning Ellen Degeneres now hosts the most popular daytime talk show on television; is a humanitarian and philanthropist and supposedly the most delightful and genuine person one could hope to meet in Hollywood. Millions of Americans welcome the world's most famous lesbian into their homes every weekday.

Yes, television has done wonders for LGBTQ rights. Visibility breeds compassion, I guess. Honestly I don't care about the why. I just know that things are finally beginning to change for LGBTQ Americans and I'm so glad that I am here to see that.

That's so gay!

More, anon.
Prospero

The Literal Title Repertory Company Presents:

Baby in a Non-Heat Resistant Cat Costume

I squarely place the blame for this post and any actual other material that comes out of this very bad idea, on my dear Stephen R. at Post Apocalyptic Bomehian for everything you are about to read. Not that Stephen is a bad person. Far from it (at least, as far as I know - we've not actually met in person - though I will rectify that, some day). From both his blog and our personal correspondence, Stephen is sweet, kind, artistic and very much in love his with his husband, 'the Husband.' Like Uncle P, Stephen has lived a life of show. Born in a trunk with greasepaint in our veins and all that. 

Recently, Stephen posted a picture of his dog Lulu wearing a muzzle (on her way to the vet, I must assume). He claimed to be mounting a backyard production of an all-canine version of Silence of the Lambs starring his dog as Lulu Lecter. Needless to say, regular readers know that mind is a dark and scary world and by combining Silence... with adorable doggies, Mr R. set off an unstoppable chain-reaction that resulted in my replying to his post the with following:

"Funny. I'm directing Cat on a Hot Tin Roof for the Literal Title Repertory. And no, we aren't using real cats. How cruel would it be to put a cat on a real hot tin roof? We're not monsters, for God's sake! Instead, we're using black market babies in heat-resistant cat costumes. It gets those bastards at PETA off our backs, at least." 

Now you can take that one of two ways. You can think that I am a horrible; sick; aberrant; vile; loathsome pervert. Or you understand that I don't actually mean any of that and know that in real life, I would never hurt a child or an animal in any way. If you reacted the right way, you also understand that now that I've started a thread, I have no choice but to ask you what other plays should the Literal Title Rep take on in our inaugural season? And how should they be staged?

Now, to be honest, this isn't an original idea. It had it's origins in a 1998 production of Love! Valour! Compassion! and the twisted humor of gay men waiting in their dressing room to go on stage and get naked. I'm not sure how it all started, but we somehow created  the Hitler Youth Theatre and a list of musicals they'd produced, including "Maim;" "Eine Kline Nachtmusik;" and "A Firing Squad Line," among others. Sick? Maybe. Okay - probably. Alright, alright! Yes! Funny? Maybe you had to be there. 

Anyway - leave me your suggestions in the comments, please.

Here's a little something or two to get the wheels turning:

Okay - I know. Those both fit Stephen's theme, better than mine. Whatever...

More, anon.
Prospero

The Gayest (and Saddest) Things You'll See This Week

Jeffrey Gomes. Photo: Annia Torres-Rossi

Yesterday was an unusual day, both historically and personally. I had posted this first video on Facebook the other night and it has been highlighted on plenty of LGBT and mainstream blogs. The fact that it went viral right around the time of Obama's announcement, made it all the more poignant (and important). 

When Shane lost Tom in a terrible accident after almost 6 years together and a promise to marry as soon as it was legal, Shane found himself blocked any all access by Tom's family, who rejected their son after he came out to them. Emotionally devastated, Shane wasn't even able to attend Tom's funeral, let alone have any say in it.

The 10 minute short, It Could Happen to You, chronicles Shane's pain and frustration and his determination to make sure no one else ever goes through what he did. If you've seen it already, it is so worth seeing again. If you haven't seen it, you must, but make sure you have tissues nearby. This is why Marriage Equality matters. I know I'm preaching to the choir but maybe some uneducated or curious or outright bigoted person, who came to bash or troll a story about gay marriage will see this video for the first time and suddenly get it. That's my hope, anyway. But then, I've always tried to be an optimist (though it isn't always easy, these days). 

I hope that made you not just sad, but angry. I hope it prompted you to write, email or call your elected officials and make your voice heard. Share this post or even just the video and get other people angry. I hope it made at least one of you see that this is not about sex, religion, tradition or however you choose to rationalize it. It is about love, plain and simple. Love, you dopes! How hard is that to understand?

Okay, okay. Important stuff out of the way. Let's talk about Jeffrey Gomes up there in the right corner. What's that all about? Well, I'll tell you. Via Towleroad comes this sort of sexy and just terrifically upbeat dance video from Choreographer Drew James featuring James and Gomes tearing it up in Manhattan. It's meant to make you smile. And it does. Enjoy:

"Wait just one second! How the hell do those two clips go together in the same post, Uncle P?"

Truth is, they do and they don't. But mostly they do, because they are opposites. Sorrow V. Joy. We would never appreciate one without the other. I didn't initially intend to get all Zen on ya'll tonight but it seemed like a good opportunity to make the point. Enjoy your life. Express your love. Share your joy. Thus endeth the lesson.

More, anon.
Prospero

Can You Feel a Brand New Day?

As usual, I'm late to the party. That's one thing that sucks about being a night-blogger -- I rarely get scoops or breaking news. So I'm not going to embed video of the interview (though I will link to it here) everyone is talking about. But I will offer up my thoughts on the words I and millions of my LGBT friends, family and peers have been waiting four years to hear.

First, to all the naysayers who have been complaining about his lack of action on LGBT issues: you can all suck it. The end of DADT; the refusal to defend DOMA and now this. Of course we have to thank Mr. Biden for giving him the final push off the cliff on this latest item. Still, no president has ever done more to advance LGBT rights in this country and no sitting president has ever come out in favor of Marriage Equality (Clinton and Carter have been long-time supporters, but not until after their time as POTUS). This is pretty effing ginormous news. 

Mr. Obama did several things by giving this interview, one of which I find very entertaining and will get to in a moment. First and foremost, the man must have HUGE cajones! He super-secret-pinky-swear oversaw the takeout of one of the most evil men in the world AND told the American people that he supports same-sex marriage all in the same term. What bully is going to stand up to the guy with gigantic, solid brass balls? Of course, the Repugnican response was to condemn the announcement. Even Frothy tried to remain relevant by spewing hate disguised as righteousness. Most of North Carolina experienced heart-attacks, strokes and visions of the White House burning in Satan's semen. There are no known straight survivors; only atheists, Jews, florists and that dainty little boy who works part time down to Jonelle's Bridal Shop.

The detractors, deniers and drama queens who sponsor "Don't Say Gay" bills while trolling the men's room in the hair salon at J.C. Penney think this is a win for them. But Obama is a shrewd man. He knows that the haters' constituents (i.e. superstitious back-water yokels who believe everything their priest/minister/preacher/charlatan tells them to believe, using fear to manipulate the ignorant) who think gay marriage is wrong were never going to vote for him regardless of his public stance. Not only has he now secured every gay  Democrat's vote (which he was close to having, anyway), he knows that  independent voters tend to be pro-Equality and has likely secured the majority of those votes, as well. He may even have gotten more than a few Log Cabin votes. I mean, even gay Republicans (an oxymoron if there ever was one) aren't thrilled with their Cigar Store Mormon candidate. Obama has also forever changed the Democratic Party. The DNC had officially adopted a pro-Equality platform and expected and hoped that the President would, too. This means, that no matter what happens in Obama's next term, every Democratic candidate for POTUS from now on will have to be pro-Equality.

The part that amuses me, of course, is the thought of ultra-right wing conservatives' heads spontaneously combusting all over the world, at exactly the same moment. Maggie Gallagher's head alone is filled with enough fat and ugly to burn longer than a tire-fire in a coal mine. I bet Sarah Palin didn't leave much of a mess at all. Her empty head probably just deflated like a flaccid birthday balloon. Seriously, picture her face on that. Doesn't that image send you into giddy paroxysms of joy? And the Pope? Oh, Honey! That pointy hat flew up into the Roman sky like a Roman candle shooting rainbow sparks over the Vatican. But even that did nothing to help his heart grow so much as half a size. Must be a side-effect of the prostate removal. And I must admit that it warms my heart to know that they will all hold their future shameful places on the wrong side of history and human rights. Hey, "Futurama!" Put Sarah Palin's head in a jar and abuse her as only you can. Please?

Finally, the president has indeed delivered on his promise of "Hope." I have more hope for the progressive future of this country than I ever have. Change is often painful and slow. And the man inherited a horrible mess from the idiot fratboy who preceded him. One thing at a time, folks. One thing at a time. But today we came a giant step closer and I have more hope than ever that I will see Marriage Equality in all 50 of these great United States in my lifetime.

Okay, maybe that was a bit over-the-top. Oh, who am I kidding? Of course it was! And you wouldn't have it any other way! Nor would I, darlings. Nor would I.

More, anon.
Prospero

Who Do You Believe?

Wait, I have a Kleenex...

I honestly try not to be a gossip blogger. But sometimes an item comes along that requires both mention and comment, especially after a second person has come forward in almost as many days.

Yes, I'm talking about the one that I wanted, none other than Tony Manero; Danny Zucco;Vincent Vega and Edna Turblad himself, John Travolta. And yes, I'm talking about the two masseurs who recently came forward to accuse the long rumored-to-be-gay actor of wanting more than his shoulders rubbed. And this is not the first or second time the same allegation has been made by a masseur. It has also been alleged that Travolta trolled steam rooms and bath houses for close encounters of the queer kind.

OK - I must admit to being conflicted over this story. As a teenager, I found Travolta immensely attractive (as did every young straight gal and gay male in the country, if not the world). Gay rumors have dogged the actor for his entire career. Such rumors dog other celebs like Will Smith, Tom Cruise and Hugh Jackman. Of the three, only Jackman is publicly amused and flattered by the attention - obviously the response of a progressive-thinking straight man with a sense of humor. Of course, Travolta's camp issued a flat-out denial of the allegations.

Bad Movie/Buff Travolta

I have no idea who to believe here. I would hope that if these allegations prove to be true (and that's a big "if"), Travolta will finally come clean, once and for all. It's the 21st century - no one should care anymore. Sadly, some morons still do care. And while I continue to express my disdain for those who out others without consent, I also can't help but say that someone working to a keep a secret has to be a little more discreet. 

Not that there aren't plenty of stories out there about Cruise and Smith. Some of the accounts of Smith's alleged assignations are legen -- wait for it -- dary! Of course, it just may be that the Church of Loonatology helps them all cover their tracks. Wait - Smith's not a Loonatologist, you say? They've been courting him forever. Who's to say what ideas have already rubbed off on him or how far they'll go to get him to join their flock of zomblebrities (yes - I just made up yet another word). 

And it should go without saying that I have as much use for the Loonatologists as I do a boil on my heinie. Really? Your founder was a drug-addled writer of bad-science fiction. You don't think the whole thing just might be the result of a bad trip or a sick joke? 

Wait, I have a Kleenex...

Here's the thing - this is 2012, folks. No one should care who anyone is sleeping with. Or screwing; boinking; banging; boffing; f*&^ing; making the beast with two backs; doing the horizontal mambo or otherwise gettin' it on. It's no one's business but those people doing those things, anyway. If you are a celebrity, part of the price you pay is personal scrutiny. If you aren't willing to tell the truth about yourself, then you damned well better go out of your way to keep that lie alive.

This isn't the 1950's or even the 1970's. Information, scandal and innuendo are 24/7 these, days. Everyone has a camera. Everyone is "jacked in." Everyone is a voyeur. As we've learned with several politicians and at least one discredited anti-gay 'scientist,' there's no such thing as privacy, anymore.

If these allegations prove to be true, I hope Travolta will man-up and admit to it. I won't like the way it happened, but I'll be happy that another person is no longer living a very public lie. The more celebrities that come out, the better.

If the allegations are not proven (if this even goes to trial without settlements), then I will offer up an apology to Travolta and every falsely-accused straight man in the world. Don't hold your breath, though.

Ugh!

More, anon.
Prospero

If She Weighs the Same As a Duck...

"You shall bring us... a shrubbery!"

Uncle P's sister sent me this photo today. She visits as many cake sites as I do horror and movie sites, so I don't know where she found it.  It's probably the single most epic win cake of all time. Just look at it. The Black Knight; a Knight Who Says 'Ni;' the Killer Rabbit and the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, all perfectly rendered in a cake I couldn't bear to eat, but just want to bask in its glory. This was NOT an inexpensive cake and I wish I had the money it cost just to pay some bills, let alone buy an insanely amazing custom cake. To be honest, she sent it in an email titled "awesome python cake." I was was actually expecting a picture of a snake cake. Imagine my delight at being so wrong.

But this post isn't really about cake. Nor is it about how my sister and I communicate, because she knew this particular cake, in conjunction with her recent guest post, would get me to a topic I don't think I've ever fully addressed: Monty Python Movies. Oh, I may have made passing comments or comparisons or minor references here and there. But I don't think I ever posted anything devoted solely to the British insaniacs and their influence on my personal take on life. But I'm going to talk about the movies, first. And one at a time, every now and then. Starting with favorite and ending with my least. And what better place to start with the group's first feature length film, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. 

Directed by the Terrys (Gilliam and Jones), and co-written by all six of them, Holy Grail is a brilliantly nonsensical take on the Arthurian legends, loaded with bad puns, repeating themes ("I'm not dead yet!") and preposterous situations in a world completely populated by morons, lunatics and cartoon monsters. Not everything works (the three-headed giant is kind of lame as is the movie's anti-climatic non-ending) but there is far more gold than pyrite in this movie and no matter how many times I've seen it or how many lines I can quote from it or how easily I can manage to work a quote into a conversation with either or both people who will get it and people who won't, it still makes me laugh like an idiot after more than 45 years. I think it's because, like Carroll, the six Pythons understood that not only was nonsense funny, it was even funnier when applied as satire.

Holy Grail covers the gamut of what every movie should include:

A Plague:



Religion:



Sex:



Logic:



"Who are you, that are so wise in the ways of science?" Genius!

Denial:



Arranged Marriage (and Musicals):



History:



(It's even funnier in Spanish!)

So many more moments and comments and quotable scenes. Too much to go on and on about. Proof that nonsense can be as funny to adults as it is to kids, especially when applied so pointedly satirical, Monty Python and the Holy Grail not only cemented the troupe's cult status (especially here in the U.S.*) but paved the way for more daring satire (if not always as successfully) in their future films.

If you don't know Python or (like many) think you hate Python, you may want to start with the Broadway Cast recording of "Spamalot," Eric Idle's musical adaptation. Yes, many things are very different from the movie and it's funnier of you know and love the movie but it's as gentle an intro to Python as you can get. Then watch Holy Grail.

Of course, the movie is also one of several very special shared movie experiences for Sis and I. And to some extent, Dad (who swears that at the matinee he attended alone, a very confused old lady got up and left after the first twenty minutes). One of the many things that bond my sister and I so closely are the movies we saw together as kids. I like to think I taught her how to watch movies. I know she helped me to remember how do that and still enjoy them. That and the fact that she loves nonsense as much as I do, helps.

*I know plenty of Brits who don't get Python or our obsession for them. Their loss.

More, anon. 

Prospero